REVIEW: “Fangs for Nothing” by Steffanie Holmes
He’s a hot, grumpy, reclusive vampire, and the last thing he wants is an interfering human tidying his castle…until her.
Lord Alaric Valerian has a problem. His mother is visiting his castle for the first time, but she doesn’t know that Alaric has filled every room with his centuries of artistic passions and creative pursuits.
Desperate, he hires professional organiser Winnie Preston to help him tame the mess. But Alaric isn’t prepared for bubbly, passionate Winnie to show up at his castle and ram a metaphorical stake through his cold, vampire heart. Winnie sets his fangs on edge, but the more closely he works with her, the more he wishes she could be his.
So when Alaric’s mother arrives with a new bride-to-be in tow, Alaric convinces Winnie to pretend to be his fiance. He may be causing all kinds of scandal in the vampire court by being engaged to a human, but at least he doesn’t have to give up his reclusive life.
But Winnie still doesn’t know Alaric’s a vampire, and Alaric didn’t count on Winnie’s meddling book club pinning him for a mysterious murder in the village. Will their maybe-not-so-fake-marriage survive once Winnie discovers the monster that lurks beneath his fangs?
Fangs for Nothing is a kooky, spooky, vampire romance full to the cauldron-brim with fake dating, a meddling smutty book club, murder and mystery aplenty, endless cups of tea, quirky characters, and a broody vampire with an ass so fine, Geralt of Rivia comes to him for fitness tips.
You might better know Steffanie Holmes from the Nevermore Bookshop Mysteries or the Grimdale Graveyard Mysteries (which I read back in 2023), but Fangs for Nothing is her first traditionally published novel, and it just so happens to be set in the same universe as her other kooky, spooky novels!
The first in the Nevermore Murder Club and Smutty Book Coven series, we follow organiser extraordinaire Winnie Preston as she makes her way to the home (see also: gothic castle) of Lord Alaric Valerian, a reclusive vampire with a bit of a hoarding problem. Alaric’s mother is coming to town, and he needs all the help he can get in tidying his home for her arrival. But he gets much more than he expects with Winnie, and both of them are in for a wild ride when a man in the local town is found murdered — his body completely drained of blood! — after a confrontation involving all three of them.
But never fear, because the Nevermore Murder Club and Smutty Book Coven are on the case!
I loved the Grimdale Graveyard Mysteries, and have been loving the Nevermore Bookshop Mysteries just as much (despite still only being about half way through the series), so when I heard Holmes was set to release her first traditionally published novel, I was excited! By the time I saw that cover, I was completely sold.
Given the release of the second book this month, I decided it was time to finally dive back into this world and see what the book club were getting up to.
While you can absolutely dive into this series without having read any of Holmes’s other books, I would highly recommend reading the Nevermore Bookshop Mysteries beforehand if you intend to read them at all. Fangs for Nothing is fairly spoiler-y when it comes to its prequel series, and honestly, if I hadn’t already read a handful of them myself I think I’d have been confused by a number of things in this one. They’re nothing central to the plot, so no worries there, but these fun little nods to readers who have been around a while might be quite jarring for people who are only just discovering this universe now. It will be made more confusing by the lack of “other works by this author” page in the book, as none of Holmes’s indie works are listed as previous reads.
Unlike some of her other works as well, I found the murder mystery in this was very much pushed to the side. While this did feel true to Winnie’s character — she was there to organise a castle, not solve crime! — it would have been nice to see a little more surrounding the case. I love a good murder mystery, and was doing my best trying to work out who the killer was, and the ending definitely left me feeling…wanting for more, I suppose. Without getting spoilery.
I’d also really love to see her give Faye a piece of her mind!
While I’m not big on instalove and I admittedly skip over most smutty scenes, I found that I really loved Winnie and Alaric’s characters. Winnie is the daughter of an actual hoarder who makes it her mission in life to help others from letting their problem get that far, and Alaric is a centries-old vampire who has thrown himself into the arts to keep distracted from his nature. As someone who jumps from hobby to hobby, acquiring supplies and never actually finishing a project only to then turn around and feel I’m drowning in belongings, I felt I could sympathise with both of them. And, quite unexpectedly, I found Winnie’s trademarked decluttering system sounded helpful! In fact, I’m looking forward to trying to implement some of her training into my own life.
At the end of the day, this is the kind of book you pick up if you want an easy read that will be fun and not test your brain, and that was exactly what I needed right now. Do I wish some things had been done better? Yes. Did I still rate this book high? Also yes.
And I will absolutely be reading the next installment — hopefully a lot sooner than the release of the third!
